Loud House - Box Office Bombed
by Vincent StGermaine
Summary: Lori tells Lincoln why she wouldn't tell him about a movie she promised she'd see for him.


_Morning at the Loud House, Lincoln had a bowl of cereal and was watching TV next to Lori, who was eating an omelette, when a commercial for a movie showed._  
 **Announcer:** The biggest movie ever made! The ultimate sci-fi of the millennium! The movie you absolutely need to see for your life to have any meaning what so ever! The Kings of the Quasars! Now in theaters.  
 _Lincoln was mesmerized by the commercial, his eyes twinkled like the night sky._  
 **Lincoln:** That looks so awesome, I think I just might wet myself. - _Lori scooted herself away from Lincoln._ \- I'VE GOTTA SEE IT!  
 **Lori:** It's gonna be another 6 years before you're old enough for that, it's Rated R and you know that mom and dad won't let you see anything above your age anymore.  
 **Lincoln:** Dang it! I can't wait 6 years for that, what am I gonna do?  
 _Then Lincoln's face jolted into a big grin as he directed his direction to Lori._  
 **Lori:** Why are you looking at me like that?  
 **Lincoln:** Oh, I just thought that maybe someone as old as you could see the movie and tell me how it went, that might be an awesome idea.  
 _Lincoln's face tried to pull the cute card on her._  
 **Lori:** No.  
 _Lincoln's face fell._  
 **Lincoln:** Why not?  
 **Lori:** I'm not into sci-fi as much as you are. Besides, I don't see the point of seeing something you want to see if you can't see it to begin with.  
 **Lincoln:** Oh please, Lori! I'll do anything you want!  
 **Lori:** Now you're willing to waste your time so I can waste mine? Look, Lincoln, there are just some things worth the wait. You just have to accept it and go on with what you can do now.  
 _As Lori walked away, Lincoln had this smug look on his face._  
 **Lincoln:** Challenge accepted.  
 _Lincoln started doing favors to convince Lori to see the movie for him. He pulled all the stops and more, he did her laundry, he set up a picnic lunch for her date with Bobby, he even let himself be a footstool for an hour before she noticed. But no matter what he did, Lori wouldn't agree to what he wanted, but that didn't kill Lincoln's persistence. Dinner time, the older sisters and parents are at the dinner table._  
 **Lynn Sr:** Where's Lincoln? We can't eat without him.  
 **Lori:** Probably thinking of another way to get me to do his plan.  
 **Rita:** What plan?  
 **Lori:** He wants me to watch an R rated sci-fi movie so I'll tell him how it goes.  
 **Leni:** Does it seem THAT good?  
 **Lori:** The commercial said it was the movie of the millennium, but I just won't know unless I see it. Lincoln seems really persistent on getting me to comply, he's been doing anything that could please me, he even gave me a pedicure WHILE massaging my feet.  
 **Lynn:** Maybe you should just do it then, even Lucy's creeped out by this.  
 _Lincoln came in and sat down._  
 **Lori:** Look, Lincoln, I know you want to see that movie, but there's really no point to bribe me so vigorously. Nothing is going to convince me.  
 **Lincoln:** Not even the life size bronze Bobby statue waiting for you under a sheet in the living room?  
 **Lori:** Especially not- _Lori stopped there and dashed off to the living room and found a sheet next to the fireplace. She pulled it off to find exactly what Lincoln said it was. The statue was a perfect likeness of Bobby, and Lori loved every bit of it. She came back to the table._ \- Okay, Lincoln, you've got me, I'll do it, I'll call Bobby to see if his job as an usher can get me a ticket. - _Lincoln smiled as everyone started eating. At bed time, Lori and Leni are in their bedroom, Leni is reading a fashion magazine while Lori is marveling at her Bobby statue._ \- You know, Leni, I feel like I owe Lincoln more than details if he's gonna make me a metal statue.  
 **Leni:** Maybe you could get him a new comic book.  
 **Lori:** For a life size metal statue of Boo-Boo Bear, I think I should do better than that. I'll figure it out after the movie.  
 _The next day, Lori meets Bobby at the movie theater._  
 **Bobby:** Hey, Babe, I think it's pretty cool that you're doing this for your bro.  
 **Lori:** You should see what he did for me.  
 _Later, Lincoln was in the living room with Clyde and Ronnie Anne, watching tv, he checked the clock._  
 **Lincoln:** Boy, 4 hours, that must be one long movie.  
 **Clyde:** I still can't believe you actually got Lori to do that for you.  
 **Ronnie Anne:** How exactly did you get a bronze stature of Bobby anyway?  
 **Lincoln:** It's a long story.  
 _Just then, Lori came back with Bobby carrying a big box. Lincoln jumped up and dashed his way right in front of Lori._  
 **Lincoln:** Hey, Lori, how was The Kings of the Quasars?  
 **Lori:** Oh, it was literally spectacular, oh how I wish you could've been there.  
 **Lincoln:** How did it go? How did it go?  
 **Lori:** Oh, I can't at the moment, I'm too awe stricken to tell you about it.  
 **Lincoln:** Wow, I hope 6 years will go by fast.  
 **Lori:** Well, I got something you help out. Since you couldn't come now, I thought I'd bring you something to pass the time till then. Put the box down, Boo-Boo Bear.  
 _Bobby put the box down, Lincoln opened it to find it filled with numerous, toys, comics, video games, and dvd's.  
_ **Lincoln:** Wow, looks like everything I could ever want and more.  
 **Lori:** Yeah, I think you deserved this after what you did for me yesterday.  
 **Lincoln:** Well, all I wanted was the info on the movie, but I'll accept this, thanks a lot.  
 _Lincoln came up to Lori and gave her a hug, she returned the affection._  
 **Lori:** I'm glad you're happy. Well, I need to rest after all that excitement. Come on, Boo-Boo Bear. Have fun, bro. - _Lori and Bobby, made their way upstairs and went into her and Leni's room. Once Lori closed the door, her face dropped._ \- I can't believe what I sat through.  
 _Back downstairs._  
 **Clyde:** Wow, I can't believe I'm over her now, she's just so awesome.  
 **Ronnie Anne:** Yeah, maybe I was wrong about her being a lousy sister.  
 **Lincoln:** Yeah, I've never seen her do something so nice before. In fact, this seems a little too nice. She's hiding something, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of thi- Hey, a Fluffby.  
 _Lincoln pulled up a small electronic toy that resembled a armless fluffy animal._  
 **Fluffby:** Me Fluffby, you friend.  
 _Back with Lori and Bobby._  
 **Bobby:** Well, Lincoln's happy, that's what you wanted, right?  
 **Lori:** Sure, Lincoln's happy, but I'll never be the same again!  
 **Leni:** The same what?  
 _The couple turned to find Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Kenny standing at the door._  
 **Luna:** I'm guessing the movie wasn't as good as you let on with Lincoln.  
 **Lori:** It was literally a nightmare, a train wreck from start to finish! If it was an actual bomb, it would be powerful enough to destroy a super continent. To put it in the nicest way possible, it was total horse dung. I may not be a big sci-fi nerd, but even I can still say it made no sense whatsoever. I even said out loud "what the heck is going on with anything?" The dialogue sounded like it was written by someone that had English for a tenth language, no-one could go ten seconds without swearing. Plus, there was no way to follow the story, there were so many plot twists, there was barely even a plot. And don't get me started on the camera movement... - _Flashback, Lori runs into the theater bathroom, and throws her face into the toilet and vomits. Return to the present._ \- I didn't even make it out of my seat the fifth time. Out of the whole movie, the best part was the credits. I think the opinion from the commercial was the director's, I'd literally like to know how they managed to get it in theaters.  
 **Kenny:** You could make a great internet video movie reviewer.  
 **Lynn:** So it's as bad as it gets, but why would you lie to Lincoln like that?  
 **Lori:** Well, he was so excited over it, and he did so much just to get me to see it for him, I just couldn't stand to disappoint him.  
 **Kenny:** Well, he's got to find out sooner or later.  
 **Lori:** That's why I got him all the stuff in that box, I got him so much great stuff, he'll eventually forget that movie all together, and that makes one of us.  
 _That night, everyone was in bed, Lincoln was tossing and turning. He jumped out of bed and ran into Lori and Leni's room and found Lori was not in her bed. He ran downstairs and found her in the kitchen, eating a bag of chips._  
 **Lincoln:** Lori... - _Lincoln jumped on Lori, landing the both of them on the floor. Lincoln was kneeling over her with his hands on her tank top._ \- I can't take anymore of the wait, you have to tell me what happened in Kings of Quasars!  
 **Lori:** Lincoln, do you have any idea what time it is?  
 **Lincoln:** Time means nothing to me if you're gonna hold back! - _He started bringing his face closer to Lori as he went on. Lori got more and more scared as he brought her head lower and lower._ \- I didn't do all those favors for you to leave me hanging! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I HAD TO DO TO RID MY HANDS OF THE STINK FROM YOUR PUTRID FEET?!  
 _Lori's head was now lying on the floor, she could see nothing at the moment but Lincoln's crazy eyes._  
 **Luan:** Boy, Linc, if you were any closer, you'd be behind her.  
 _Lincoln and Lori looked to find the rest of the family standing nearby._  
 **Lori:** What are you all doing down here?  
 **Lucy:** You can hear Lincoln yelling outside.  
 **Lynn Sr:** Do any of you two know what time it is?  
 **Rita:** What's all the commotion?  
 **Lincoln:** I did a whole mess of favors for Lori so she would watch an R rated movie and tell me about it, and she won't speak a word of it!  
 **Lisa:** Lincoln, has it ever occurred to you that she may have not seen the movie, and she just let you do all those favors for nothing?  
 **Lori:** That's not true, Lisa, I saw it, I just don't wanna talk about it. I don't even wanna think about it. - _Lincoln loosened his grip and got up off Lori._ \- Trust me, Lincoln, you did not miss anything worth holding it in.  
 **Lincoln:** The thought that it might be that bad does not make me want to hear about it any less.  
 **Lori:** Believe me, you're lucky to be too young for it. The whole thing was a catastrophe.  
 **Lincoln:** Was it really that bad?  
 **Lori:** (sighs) Get cozy, you're in for a long story. - _So, Lori began to tell Lincoln what the movie was like, leaving out only the most inappropriate detail, so it took only ten minutes._ -...and in the end, the hero immediately became the villain, hit the big red button, and the universe imploded. And finally, roll credits, that's the end!  
 **Lincoln:** Wow, I can almost imagine actually seeing it, now I wish I had that hour and a half I didn't lose back.  
 **Lori:** Three-and-a-half.  
 **Lincoln:** Ooooo...  
 **Lori:** Yeah, I'm lucky I didn't actually spend any money on tickets, but I still payed for it. I literally blew my life savings getting you those presents hoping to keep you from thinking about it, I actually did think you deserved all of those for everything you did for me, especially the statue. I didn't want you to do all that work and be left disappointed.  
 _Lori placed her face in her hands, Lincoln leaned and gave her a hug._  
 **Lincoln:** Lori, you're the best.  
 _Lori smiled and hugged back._  
 **Lori:** Thanks, bro.  
 _The next day, Lincoln was in the living room, Lori came in._  
 **Lincoln:** Hey, Lori, I was just about to watch Space Feuds. I don't suppose you'd be willing to watch it, it's a classic.  
 **Lori:** Eh, why not? It might be a good idea to watch how a real sci-fi movie is made.  
 _So Lori joined Lincoln and they enjoyed the movie together. In the end, Lori was pretty satisfied with the whole thing._

The End


End file.
